I was making the finishing touches on Paisley's Halloween costume and I had a sewing question for my mom (probably the best seamstress I know!) I called and talked to her for awhile and then she said "Hey, your dad wants to talk to you real quick" (that is totally out of character for my dad!) He got on and asked me how my kids were doing, I asked him about work and then he proceeded to tell me how proud of me and Kyle he is. He told me how he knew Kyle and I have struggled in the past and there was a time that he was genuinely concerned but now, he knows that we are going to make it... not only in our relationship but in our finances and our lives. He is proud of the mother that I have become and how my children are turning out. He is proud of who I married, the hard worker and loving husband that he is. I started to get emotional and he could tell so he told me he loved me and we ended the call... which is when I proceeded to cry.
I have been silently suffering the past few weeks. I have had a few things in my life that have gotten me down and I had become tired and worn down. Life hasn't always been what I expected it to be and having nothing come of some of those expectations left me feeling broken and sad. Just hearing my dad tell me that I was someone that he was proud of meant the world to me. He isn't one to make things up, or to say things just to be heard or for attention. It came from his heart and it made me realize how lucky I really am.
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Friday, October 4, 2013
Otoplasty
I had a couple of people ask me questions about my procedure, and I always planned on blogging about it, I just haven't felt up to it until now (almost a month later). I first looked into this procedure when I was 18. I have hated my ears for as long as I can remember. I have always had mixed feelings about cosmetic surgery though. I always felt that altering the way that I looked was admitting that I'm not good enough. This past summer, I was in Vegas for most of the time and all I wanted to do was to wear my hair up and feel comfortable, secure, and good about myself. Once I was home, I spent a lot of time thinking about it. I hated the way I thought I looked, I was insecure, and in my head "ugly". One night, Kyle was doing homework and I was looking up the procedure and Drs in the area that did it and I broke down. I was hysterical and down on myself. Kyle held me, lovingly reminded me how beautiful and perfect he thinks I am, but also understands that this has always been something that I have wanted and if it made me feel better, he supported it and would make it work. The next day, I made phone calls to a bunch of drs, including my own general dr about a plastic surgeon he would recommend. It was unanimous that Dr. Lawrence Chase was the best in St. George so I called and made an appointment. He actually had a cancellation for the next day, so I made the appt and drove down. He came in and talked to me, he took some measurements, answered all of my questions and I then scheduled my procedure.
Less than 2 weeks later, Kyle was taking me down to have it done. I chose to have it done in his office for 2 reasons. The first was cost. Having the procedure done in his office cut the price down almost in half. Dr. Chase could use a local anesthetic and then I wouldn't have to pay for an anesthesiologist. And I wouldn't have to pay an extra surgery center fee. The second reason was my previous reactions to anesthesia. I don't always come out of it very well and I end up having a rough time recovering. So an in-office procedure just seemed to be my best option. Kyle wasn't allowed to go back with me, so he waited until I was called back and then he went to the movies. When I got back in the room, they gave me a pill to help calm my nerves, gave me a lortab to help with the pain after the shots wore off and also an antibiotic to make sure I didn't develop an infection. Dr. Chase came in about 20 minutes later and asked how I felt. I was still extremely anxious and shaking so they game me another pill to calm my nerves. Within 15 minutes I was calm, cool, and actually quite a bit loopy so they started with the shots. Although Dr. Chase kept commenting on how small the needle actually was, it hurt... it hurt a lot! I have no fear of needles, but did not enjoy that. He numbed from about an inch above my ear all the way down my neck... inside my ear, behind it, in front of it... anywhere that might feel pain. Luckily after the first 5 or so shots on each side, I didn't feel much. I couldn't see anything, but Dr. Chase kept me very informed on what was going on. He cut behind my ear... I couldn't see or feel anything but because they were working so close to my ears, I heard all of it. The best way I could describe it was it sounded like he was cutting through rubber. It wasn't an easy sounding cut, like when you cut a piece of paper. It was rough and little cuts at a time. The shots that he gave me to numb everything up also had something in it that caused me to not bleed very much (please forgive my lack of medical terminology... it really is no interest to me). He took measurements to see where we wanted my ears to lay (which had all been previously discussed) then he started to stitch me up. There are permanent stitches inside of my head, along with dissolvable stitches. Then on the outside there were regular stitches that he would take out in a week or so. He basically pulled the skin and cartilage back, cut off what couldn't be used, and stitched me up. Then he did the other side. It took a little over 2 hours from start to finish. They put a full head dressing on me, which itched like crazy! It made my head sweat and frankly, it was disgusting. When I was done, Kyle came and got me. I slept the whole way home. Kyle got me upstairs, in bed and I passed back out. I woke up a few hours later, screaming and crying in pain. I don't even remember labor being that bad. Kyle brought me some dinner (Ramen... classy I know) and my pain meds. It took me a couple of hours to get back to sleep. The next day I had my first post-op. Dr. Chase said everything looked great... but it would be a long recovery. I had my next post op a few days later, not long enough for my skin to have healed well enough to take out my stitches which is what I was really hoping for. He spent a lot of time chewing me out for popping a couple of stitches and not taking the healing time seriously. That was probably the lowest I have felt in a long time! He did take the permanent head dressing off and let me wear just a normal headband 24/7. My instructions were to NOT shower alone (Kyle had NO problem with that one) and to basically lay on the couch and do nothing for the next week. The next week he took my stitches out and my instructions were to only wear the headband when I left the house or was playing with my kids (2 pounds of pressure will pop my stitches and the whole surgery would be a waste) The headband caused so much friction that my ears are scabbed over and aching. My new instructions are to only wear the headband at night when I sleep... for the next 5 months!!! I am still in a lot of pain when I try to sleep. I am not getting much sleep since I can not get into the habit of sleeping on my back and any pressure on my ears cause sharp pains and my ears to throb. Other than that, I couldn't be happier. I finally feel comfortable in my own skin. Kyle loved me before, he way happy with the way I looked before but ultimately I did this for me. I am one lucky girl to have such an awesome husband. It's a long road of recovery ahead but I think it will all be worth it!!
Less than 2 weeks later, Kyle was taking me down to have it done. I chose to have it done in his office for 2 reasons. The first was cost. Having the procedure done in his office cut the price down almost in half. Dr. Chase could use a local anesthetic and then I wouldn't have to pay for an anesthesiologist. And I wouldn't have to pay an extra surgery center fee. The second reason was my previous reactions to anesthesia. I don't always come out of it very well and I end up having a rough time recovering. So an in-office procedure just seemed to be my best option. Kyle wasn't allowed to go back with me, so he waited until I was called back and then he went to the movies. When I got back in the room, they gave me a pill to help calm my nerves, gave me a lortab to help with the pain after the shots wore off and also an antibiotic to make sure I didn't develop an infection. Dr. Chase came in about 20 minutes later and asked how I felt. I was still extremely anxious and shaking so they game me another pill to calm my nerves. Within 15 minutes I was calm, cool, and actually quite a bit loopy so they started with the shots. Although Dr. Chase kept commenting on how small the needle actually was, it hurt... it hurt a lot! I have no fear of needles, but did not enjoy that. He numbed from about an inch above my ear all the way down my neck... inside my ear, behind it, in front of it... anywhere that might feel pain. Luckily after the first 5 or so shots on each side, I didn't feel much. I couldn't see anything, but Dr. Chase kept me very informed on what was going on. He cut behind my ear... I couldn't see or feel anything but because they were working so close to my ears, I heard all of it. The best way I could describe it was it sounded like he was cutting through rubber. It wasn't an easy sounding cut, like when you cut a piece of paper. It was rough and little cuts at a time. The shots that he gave me to numb everything up also had something in it that caused me to not bleed very much (please forgive my lack of medical terminology... it really is no interest to me). He took measurements to see where we wanted my ears to lay (which had all been previously discussed) then he started to stitch me up. There are permanent stitches inside of my head, along with dissolvable stitches. Then on the outside there were regular stitches that he would take out in a week or so. He basically pulled the skin and cartilage back, cut off what couldn't be used, and stitched me up. Then he did the other side. It took a little over 2 hours from start to finish. They put a full head dressing on me, which itched like crazy! It made my head sweat and frankly, it was disgusting. When I was done, Kyle came and got me. I slept the whole way home. Kyle got me upstairs, in bed and I passed back out. I woke up a few hours later, screaming and crying in pain. I don't even remember labor being that bad. Kyle brought me some dinner (Ramen... classy I know) and my pain meds. It took me a couple of hours to get back to sleep. The next day I had my first post-op. Dr. Chase said everything looked great... but it would be a long recovery. I had my next post op a few days later, not long enough for my skin to have healed well enough to take out my stitches which is what I was really hoping for. He spent a lot of time chewing me out for popping a couple of stitches and not taking the healing time seriously. That was probably the lowest I have felt in a long time! He did take the permanent head dressing off and let me wear just a normal headband 24/7. My instructions were to NOT shower alone (Kyle had NO problem with that one) and to basically lay on the couch and do nothing for the next week. The next week he took my stitches out and my instructions were to only wear the headband when I left the house or was playing with my kids (2 pounds of pressure will pop my stitches and the whole surgery would be a waste) The headband caused so much friction that my ears are scabbed over and aching. My new instructions are to only wear the headband at night when I sleep... for the next 5 months!!! I am still in a lot of pain when I try to sleep. I am not getting much sleep since I can not get into the habit of sleeping on my back and any pressure on my ears cause sharp pains and my ears to throb. Other than that, I couldn't be happier. I finally feel comfortable in my own skin. Kyle loved me before, he way happy with the way I looked before but ultimately I did this for me. I am one lucky girl to have such an awesome husband. It's a long road of recovery ahead but I think it will all be worth it!!
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Changing leaves
Saturday is Kyle's only full day off of work. This past weekend, the weather was supposed to be nice, we didn't have anything planned so Kyle suggested we go up the canyon and check out some of the leaves that are changing colors since it is fall. That is one of our favorite parts about living somewhere with actual seasons (not too many changing leaves in Vegas). We packed up the car, stopped at Subway and picked up some sandwiches so we could have a picnic and headed up. We decided to not go too far up and ended up and Woods Ranch (about 10 minutes up the canyon), mostly because Kyle and I are familiar with the area there are picnic tables. There are swing sets up there for the kids to play on as well. After lunch we went exploring, with Jaxton leading the way! He was so brave and so much fun to be with! Paisley wasn't as much of a fan, but she did ok. These are my favorite days... ones with all of us together, having fun and making memories!
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